Healing Roadtrip

It has been a long time since I've been here. Life has it way of diverting you and then putting you back on the path you are suppose to be on. With the economic crash we all went through in 2008, I'm still working my way back to a new norm. Just like everyone else. Here's my spiritural take on it. We ALL went through it TOGETHER! If earth is a classroom for us to learn what it "feels" like to be or do something, then 2008 was a time for all of us to go on a roadtrip together and experience what happens when you care too much about "things" and not people. We crashed, we burned, we felt the sting, it's time to let things heal and get past it. I think that's where we are now. People are finding new ways to earn a living, thier off the grid of Wall Street and how government tracks us for our part as consumers and members of the workforce. We're plugging into doing things we didn't go to college to learn how to do. People who only wanted an education to gain more money to spend on excess and expensive anythings are now experiencing what it's like to grow vegetables to people that can't buy from a grocery store. That feeling is gratitude for what you've recieved and put out that day. Don't get me wrong! Money is important to have and education is as well. So go out get as much as you can to give back to others around you in ways that exploit your talents and gifts. I'm working to get my certification in hypnosis and leave the jobs that only pay rent and water and electricity. I know the healing power it brings in ways that drugs, and conventional therapy doesn't always do. Helping someone overcome pain or anxiety in a way they least expected makes me grateful for learning this skill. I'm on another roadtrip. One that will help others spend quality time in their own lives, instead of quantity time in whatever life problem is holding them back. I look forward to your input and answering questions about using hypnosis for healing and hopefully a healing session with hypnosis.

My New Career

I've just completed a course in Hypnosis from the Sylvia Browne Hypnosis Training Center. As hokey as it sounds, it really is, in my belief, thee most valid way of healing you can provide to someone. It isn't the only way, it's just a tool. And let me just tell you right now, I don't advocate for not going to a licensed doctor for anything that ails you. This is just a complement to what you go through during your life.

I first became interested in hypnosis when I heard Sylvia mention that she used it for health and healing. Since health and healing were a passion of mine as well, this intrigued me. I read a lot of her work in the field of healing and how she was able to help, with the aide of referrals from the medical community, and her own passion for proving this is valid science not hocus pocus as we so willingly want to believe. I've been to the State Fair and seen the hypnotist bring people on stage and so call hypnotize them into thinking they are dogs or monkeys, and thought that was just ridiculous.

After taking the class, an intense seven days I might add, it confirmed what I had believed for myself. That it was just, and let me emphasis the word "just", a light to medium state of relaxation to help you access what is already inside of you. Think about it. From the time you are young, your brain is the storehouse of all life experiences. Unfortunately for you, you can't remember every life event, so you choose to keep some in the forefront of you memory and some in the "warehouse". If your like me, you forget what you have in the warehouse, but your not ready to let it go yet either. And you might find that when you need it you can, depending on how adept you are, retrieve it when you need to. Sometimes you need a little help. That's where having someone trained in hypnosis, comes in to come in and helps you unlock the door and find what you need. What I really love is that you can find what you need from not just this life, but any past lives you've lived. Do you need to believe that you've had past lives? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Can you be forced to go there and get trapped? ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU are in complete control of everything! You do nothing you don't already want to do in you subconscious mind. And if it is in your subconscious mind to do something you wouldn't normally do in your conscious state, guess what? Your in control of that as well. Nothing and no one can override your morals unless it's what you want to do anyway.

I also like the fact that this particular training teaches us how to release cell memory. Like when someone has had a transplant and has the overwhelming urge for food they would never eat or a passion for certain activities they have never participated in, but find that their donors were avid participants. That cell memory. Your body's cells are storehouses of physical illnesses, present and past lives.

My goal is to help anyone that wants it. Behavioral modification, cell memory or past life regression. I believe hypnosis is a hand maiden to the medical field and I'm glad to be a part of the adventure. It isn't the final frontier, but I am boldly going where few have gone before.

Layoffs!

Well my day job is laying me off! For years I have been very out spoken about how crummy this job is and how inept my supervisors are and now I'm completely PO'd that they downgraded me and didn't tell me and then layed me off. They offered me a position as a part time worker with less that 20 hours a week. No gurantee that job wouldn't have more hours cut or the position obolished. No benifits. Here's the thing. I don't mind being layed off in a bad economy, but be fair about it. Be upfront and honest, not back stabbing and minipulative. Just after I managed to remodify my loan, I find that I probably won't be able to keep my house again. Retirement. Never had anything in it. What little is there, I will have to use it to live on. Medication. A must. I can't live without taking my thyroid pills or I will die in three days. Asthma meds. Need it to breath, but that's only if I have my thyroid pills. It's only good with the other. My son's summer college classes cancelled. No money to pay the teachers for the summer. How soon will I get my money for next month mortgage. No clue! Am I a survivor? Yes I am. As soon as I get a job that pays 20 dollars and hour, I get laid off, reorganized, whatever and have to scramble for another job and start a 9 dollars an hour. I don't know how I'm going to do it this time, but I really need to work for myself.

At 49 years old, no one respects my ability to make money through my talents, skills and work ethic more than myself. I just need a break!

So Many Changes!

I'm sure everyone has had something to say about having our first black President, the economy that has tanked, loosing jobs, homes, health care and there doesn't seem to be a bottom. There is a bottom, I promise you there is. I remember when I was much younger and we had to wait in line for gas with a ration card. I remember, before I had siblings, my parents having friends over to eat crepes and potato salad, going to eat lunch and dinner at the mess hall, because my dad was just a two striper back then, and there really wasn't enough money make it to the end of the month. That's true today for a lot of service men and women. There was a time when my dad had fallen so deep into alcoholism that his paycheck went to pay his bar tab instead of coming home so that we could buy groceries for the commissary. My mom had to make an emergency call to my grandmother, states side, to money gram us enough to get by for two weeks. That gave her time to commandeer my dad's next check, stop by the my dad's favorite watering holes and enforce a new law that would encourage them to turn him away. We lived in Germany at the time and my mom, with her 12th grade education had a masters in Negotiations In a Foreign Country 101 down to an art form. She also pioneered the GPS system long before they had a name for it. That's how she found all of my dads watering holes. She also had a nack for getting a job without a college degree. Do you know I was in my forties when it finally dawned on me that my parents have held jobs in the medical field, and public works without a college education!

When I graduated, they gave me a choice: go to community college and they would pay for books and tuition as much as they could until I got a degree. I was limited to four years. Or, I could get a job and pay a few household bills and save up to move into my own place. They never forced me to go to college, but they constantly reminded me to make a choice before graduation, because I couldn't just live at home for free.

So where does this leave me at today? I remember how we survived hard times when I was growing up. We ate food, not a huge meal, but we had food in our stomach. Toast with cream of mushroom soup. The Army calls it SOS. Blank-on-a-shingle. A lot of recipes from other cultures that also had little food but shared tricks of the homeless trade in how to quite and empty stomach. Someone brought potatoes, someone else the onions and vinegar, flour and egg for crepes. We ate good! We talked, we laughed and we looked out for each other. We walked everywhere and made it fun so that we didn't notice we were walking five miles a day to and from work, grocery shopping, school, doctors etc. In December I thought I would loose my home, I used very little heat, I made meals stretch so far I wasn't sure if I ate one or two meals that day. I had enough leave that if I ran out of gas I could call in and take the day off, because there was no money to buy gas at 3.45/gal., or pay bills on time. My credit probably sucks right now, but here is what I know...I survived! I wanted to see who was going to be elected in January and I knew it was a Democrat. I also opened my hands and let go of what ever I was hanging on to so tightly that it was causing me stress and illness. I asked Mother God to send me what I needed and asked Father God to remind me I chose this path and that I can't take material things with me anyway. I rescued a dog that might of wound up at the city pound. I took care of three animals and my son continued to go to college. We made it. By the end of spring or late summer, I think we will begin to relax even more and breath a little better. I'm trying to start a business of my own, and for a short time my day job may still be there, but even that is not promised. May will be a telling month for me. What ever these times bring, I know how to survive them because I survived all the other hard times in my life. And so will we all!

Homecoming

It happened October 18th on the very small island of Sri Lanke that my long time friend, that I called my younger brother, died suddenly of a massive heart attack. He died a spiritual death if you believe in numerology. October being the 10th month which adds up to 1, the 18th adds up to nine, and he died on the 12th hole playing in a golf tournament, which adds up to 3. If you watched the Olympics you know that 8 means change in Chinese numerology. As a Gnostic the number 3 and 9 represent the trinity. One is also a highly spiritual number and though his death was a great shock to us all, I don't think or feel as if he is gone, but only in the next room where I can go at anytime and talk to him. Where I can pick up the conversation we were having when he was last here.

He had a habit of blowing into town and not calling me to say he was here. He could be here for months before his wife,of whom she and I are great friends, would tell me he was in town when I'd ask how he was doing. I would be shocked that he hadn't called and a flood of expletives would flow from my mouth to which he would laugh and apologize and try to make amends by saying,"come over and I'll barbecue and make you some coffee."

The last time I talked to him was on the phone and he said, quite seriously,"hey, we're going to have to get together and have coffee." And my reply was,"Yeah, right!" I didn't listen this time. And usually I'm very good at hearing what people don't say or picking up on an illness or warning them about something. On that day he died, I was vacuuming and suddenly had a very bad angina attack. I hadn't eaten and didn't know where it was coming from, but I found the TUMs and silently thought to myself, sure hope that wasn't a preview of a heart attack. Some people would say that was a coincidence, but I'm a Gnostic and we don't believe in coincidences.

I light a candle for him now, and know that I have someone else on the other side I can call on to help me when I need it and pray for me while I'm still here in hell. Richard was Hindu I think or Muslim by religion, but also Gnostic toward the end of his life. His wife and I both know that we don't have to mourn the loss of his presence and his homecoming was just as exciting and crowded as his passing on the golf course. And when he comes to visit many months from now in a dream I'll have where I'll be chewing him out about not contacting me sooner, he'll probably say," I'm sorry, I was finishing up my golf game and I've been playing with some of the greatest golfers of history...come on let's have coffee."

On The Mend

I feel better than I have since I was 10! I finally have an answer to the chronic fatigue that plagues people like myself that have a thyroid disease. I take Kelp and vitamin A everyday and I've lost ten pounds plus and ten inches from around my waist. To those of you who are able to go on a diet and exercise, this may not sound all that ground breaking, but for those of us who suffer with our bodies inability to perform, this is monumentous. For years my doctors all said it was my fault for gaining weight and if I would cut my calories and not eat the way I "use" to eat, I could loose the weight. Not once did they hear me when I said, I don't eat junk, fast foods or gorge food all day long. Not once did they hear me when I said I am exhausted just standing up from the couch or chair. My muscles are cramping in pain...and here the answer was right under their noses. Now of course one doctor says, "that's very intriging! Now you have me coureous why your having these effects." NOW their interested?!! I've lost jobs, social connections, and the ability to have optimum health in these last 10 years and NOW their interested, because I found the cure for me.

Well, the new more energetic me is back to her own business in medical billing, and ready to start writing a book. Am I worried about the economy and how I'll do all of this? Absolutly not! I have my health. And isn't that all you need to make a change?!

Blessings

Lessons Learned Late Are Still Lessons Learned

It wasn't until I was 47 that I was told by a "doctor" that my symptoms of sneezing, uncontrollable coughing, wheezing, muscle pains, and fever were attributed to a cold, not what I have always had...Asthma! A lung disease that gets trivialized in movies with someone over exaggerating a pump of an inhaler and inhaling like their trying to suck up the other side of the planet! In real life your being smothered without having a pillow or bag over your face and you just want to be able to breath deep again, without the irritating scratchiness in your lungs, and build up of phlegm that makes it difficult to eat, sleep or talk. I was stunned! I couldn't relate to people who suffered sneezing,coughing, soar throats, and achy muscles. How lucky they were to have a cure in a few days. I suffered year round!

It wasn't until the end of the week when I told a co-worker that I would be going home this weekend to self medicate my increasing bad Asthma attack and Hay Fever so that I could come back to work on Monday. It took me until late Saturday night to figure out that the cough that wouldn't calm down, and the shivering chills, and hot flashes were not from an out of whack Thyroid(I have that too) or symptoms of Perimenopause-'cause...I have that too. It was a simple cold! So yes, I did self medicate with something to kill the bacteria, "kicked up" my asthma medication a notch, and took an over the counter cold medication. Walla! I'm getting better!

Had someone in the medical field told me or my mother thirty years ago that Asthmatics get colds too, I probably wouldn't have suffered as much as I have with my Asthma. Of course when I mentioned this to my mother, she matter-of-fact said, "Oh...ya...Asthmatics do get colds, but it's just easier for doctors to say it's Asthma when you have a history of it, and tell you to increase your meds and take something for the headaches." I was...stunned again. My mother was holding out on me. But then, in defense of mothers out there, unless you are for warned that your dying tomorrow, we probably won't tell you everything else you need to know to survive, until we turn your life over to you for the last time. That whole pearls of wisdom thing.

So what have I learned from my downtime of reflection during my illness? That that is exactly what illnesses are suppose to do. Force you to take and pay attention to yourself and your own well being. Remind you to take care of you, not have someone else take care of you. Trust in yourself that you have the answer inside if you just stop thinking so much, and just listen. I didn't meditate for hours or blank my mind. I stopped thinking the ticker tape thoughts at the bottom of the screen and just listened for what thoughts came back. It took almost half of my life to learn this lesson, but learned it I did.

Oh, and if you've notice the lower case "d" in doctor and thought it was a mistake (because being human, I make them), this time it wasn't. It is the reaction to the people with that title who have not been taught growing up how to "listen". That their thoughts are most important to hear. Then in school they are not challenged on their thinking and are reinforced that their thoughts are the most important. And then to medical school where they are taught that their thoughts are the bottom line and unquestionable...authoritative. Again,they are taught not to listen. The best healers I have had were the ones that "listen" to what I said and what I didn't say and listened to what my body said and taught me to listen to the signals to become well again. It is only a keystroke to change the case of that letter; which means that I leave the door open for unskilled listeners in the medical field...to change.

I have many more years ahead to learn to listen in other areas of my life. Lessons learned late are still lessons learned.


Blessings