Lessons Learned Late Are Still Lessons Learned

It wasn't until I was 47 that I was told by a "doctor" that my symptoms of sneezing, uncontrollable coughing, wheezing, muscle pains, and fever were attributed to a cold, not what I have always had...Asthma! A lung disease that gets trivialized in movies with someone over exaggerating a pump of an inhaler and inhaling like their trying to suck up the other side of the planet! In real life your being smothered without having a pillow or bag over your face and you just want to be able to breath deep again, without the irritating scratchiness in your lungs, and build up of phlegm that makes it difficult to eat, sleep or talk. I was stunned! I couldn't relate to people who suffered sneezing,coughing, soar throats, and achy muscles. How lucky they were to have a cure in a few days. I suffered year round!

It wasn't until the end of the week when I told a co-worker that I would be going home this weekend to self medicate my increasing bad Asthma attack and Hay Fever so that I could come back to work on Monday. It took me until late Saturday night to figure out that the cough that wouldn't calm down, and the shivering chills, and hot flashes were not from an out of whack Thyroid(I have that too) or symptoms of Perimenopause-'cause...I have that too. It was a simple cold! So yes, I did self medicate with something to kill the bacteria, "kicked up" my asthma medication a notch, and took an over the counter cold medication. Walla! I'm getting better!

Had someone in the medical field told me or my mother thirty years ago that Asthmatics get colds too, I probably wouldn't have suffered as much as I have with my Asthma. Of course when I mentioned this to my mother, she matter-of-fact said, "Oh...ya...Asthmatics do get colds, but it's just easier for doctors to say it's Asthma when you have a history of it, and tell you to increase your meds and take something for the headaches." I was...stunned again. My mother was holding out on me. But then, in defense of mothers out there, unless you are for warned that your dying tomorrow, we probably won't tell you everything else you need to know to survive, until we turn your life over to you for the last time. That whole pearls of wisdom thing.

So what have I learned from my downtime of reflection during my illness? That that is exactly what illnesses are suppose to do. Force you to take and pay attention to yourself and your own well being. Remind you to take care of you, not have someone else take care of you. Trust in yourself that you have the answer inside if you just stop thinking so much, and just listen. I didn't meditate for hours or blank my mind. I stopped thinking the ticker tape thoughts at the bottom of the screen and just listened for what thoughts came back. It took almost half of my life to learn this lesson, but learned it I did.

Oh, and if you've notice the lower case "d" in doctor and thought it was a mistake (because being human, I make them), this time it wasn't. It is the reaction to the people with that title who have not been taught growing up how to "listen". That their thoughts are most important to hear. Then in school they are not challenged on their thinking and are reinforced that their thoughts are the most important. And then to medical school where they are taught that their thoughts are the bottom line and unquestionable...authoritative. Again,they are taught not to listen. The best healers I have had were the ones that "listen" to what I said and what I didn't say and listened to what my body said and taught me to listen to the signals to become well again. It is only a keystroke to change the case of that letter; which means that I leave the door open for unskilled listeners in the medical field...to change.

I have many more years ahead to learn to listen in other areas of my life. Lessons learned late are still lessons learned.


Blessings

Welcome The New Kid

This... is my first blog. When I first heard about blogging I thought this was another way for the American culture to connect with other human beings without being physically touched. That fifteen minutes of fame for all the world to see and respond back to them. Pithy verbal combat that would catapult them onto a level of being an important somebody to listen to. That was years ago. Now, I'm older and have ulterior motives of my own. My life themes of Rescuer and Builder are fueling me to move forward to rescue people and animals in a new way, and help build better places for them to live in. I've also discovered I'm a healer as well. It sounds grandiose, but I plan on taking small steps. I'm a single parent to an almost twenty-one year old and learning to let go. I have worked as a civil servant for over twenty years with many titles and loads of experience. And now I'm taking the first steps of starting my own business as a medical biller. Rescuing doctors from the high cost of doing business and hopefully building better finances for them, myself and the patients.



We all have someone waiting to come into our lives and effect change in some way that gets us moving. Moving to the next step or stage in our lives. But we've been trained to be followers of a mindset that dictates our likes, dislikes, our spending and non spending, economic and social progress. If we get too much of a charge out of doing good for other people and paying it forward, people at the top of the food chain don't get their cut. People at the bottom get stronger and do better and start creating better ways to get through life so that we all gain, not just a chosen few. My goal is not to be the little guy that needs someone to stand up for them, because I'm in control of my own two legs and can stand on my own two feet. My finances are not to far above my intellect that I can't understand how to better my finances with out a financial advisor. I can converse with my doctor with enough understanding that I take control of my health so well that my doctor works with me, not against me, to create a better way of healthy living. I haven't gotten there yet completely, but I'm working on it.



I hope that with this blog I can rekindle an old love of writing and pass on insight to those of you who are single parents and want to know "...how do you do that?" Sometimes, I look back and wonder how I did it as well. How did I manage to commute eighty miles, buy clothes, food, medicine and be left with seven dollars in the bank. So set me a topic and I'll write about it. Once a week. We all have a life to get back to and spending all of our time on the computer,blogging, is not very productive. :) Thank you for allowing me into your thoughts, and homes.



Blessings to you all



Maria